I really like research and I enjoy working in the lab, but I absolutely hate presenting. I've had several talks go badly, including an important presentation where I forgot parts of what I wanted to say and had long awkward pauses. I have another thesis presentation coming up, and I'm starting to wonder whether I can just avoid conference talks whenever possible. Is presenting something you eventually get better at, or is it realistic to build a career where you mostly do research and write?
Can you have an academic career if you hate presenting?
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You can probably avoid some conference talks, but it's hard to avoid explaining your work completely. There are lab meetings, thesis defenses, job interviews, seminars, meetings, and teaching. That doesn't mean you have to become a fantastic speaker, though. A lot of academics are not naturally good at public speaking and still give perfectly useful presentations.
Before deciding the talk was a disaster, figure out what actually went wrong. Did you forget important information? Run out of time? Get lost in the slides? Talk too quickly? Those are different problems and you can work on them separately. Sometimes what feels terrible to the person giving the talk barely registers with the audience.
Practice has made the biggest difference for me. I usually run through a new talk several times, and I try to do at least one practice version in front of other people. The first few times are mostly about figuring out the story. Later practices are about timing, transitions, and getting comfortable when something unexpected happens.
I stopped writing out every sentence because that actually made me more nervous. Now I keep a few points for each slide and make sure I know what I want the audience to understand from it. The slides give me enough of a reminder that if I lose my place, I can look at the next one and keep going.
Try getting practice in situations that are less intimidating than a national conference. Give a short talk to your lab, present at a student seminar, help teach a class, or join a speaking group. You don't have to jump straight from being nervous in front of five colleagues to speaking to a huge conference room.
I also think people remember bad presentations much less than the presenter does. You know every sentence you forgot, every pause, and every slide that didn't go the way you planned. The audience only sees what actually happened, and most of them are thinking about their own work. Keep working on it, but don't let one rough talk convince you that you're not suited for research.